4P’s: The Single Christians guide to finding the ‘right’ person

If you are a single Christian and you are on a treasure quest to find love or life-long friendship, here is a thought framework that could help.

1) Person: Becoming the right Person

It is said that the secret to finding the right person is: to become the right person. Even secular thinkers say that success is something you attract by the person you become. It is a simple and profound idea that is expressed subtly in the Bible. Psalm 37:4 says, “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

2) Purpose: Understanding your purpose in life

The person God wants you to become is tied to God’s purpose for your life.  John Stott was one of the foremost evangelist in the world who authored over fifty books and was named in 2005 by Time magazine as one of ‘100 most influential people in the world’. This is what John Scott said in his final address:

“I want to share with you where my mind has come to rest as I approach the end of my pilgrimage on earth, and it is – God wants his people to become like Christ.”

-John Stott

Christlikeness is the purpose and destination of every single Christian (Galatians 4:19) even though God takes us through specific journeys to get there.

3) Perspective: Cultivating bipolar vision

We live in a fallen world full of pleasurable distractions and Christlikeness is a life-long journey.

Therefore, we need to frame purpose with a perspective that enables us to keep going. I found the metaphor of bipolar vision illuminating and empowering:  It is balancing our sights on where we are now (Psalm 39:4-5), and what we shall be in God’s future. Bipolar vision enables one to gracefully entertain the challenges of being a Christ follower in the present without losing sight of the staggering beauty yet to come – eternity with Christ.

4) Place: Being in the right place

A Christian singles event is perhaps one of the best places to look for the ‘right’ person. The simple reason is that you will be around like-minded people while giving God another channel and opportunity to do what he promised. Christ promised abundant life (John 10:10) and life is the people who love you.

There are two possible outcomes from positioning yourself at the right place. 1) Possibly nothing; 2) Possibly everything. You might meet your future wife/husband, your next ministry partner or form enduring Christ-centered friendships.


Like lots of us, I hope that I will find the ‘right’ person someday, but even if the outcome is ‘nothing’, I would not be troubled. The hallmark of an intelligent person is to be available with expectation, at the right place to seize divine moments that nudge you further along your purpose…